


Analog Solutions

by 1000PaperCranes



Series: Reality Works [2]
Category: Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers: Rescue Bots
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Because that's the whole premise of this episode, Episode: s01e16 Rules and Regulations, Gen, Let's just assume that a geyser would be anything other than really uncomfortable for a Cybertronian, Major Character Injury, No Beta: We die like mne, Rescue Bots with Real World Physics, Steam Burns, What-If, geysers, now with editing!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-11
Updated: 2020-10-11
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:41:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26941564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/1000PaperCranes/pseuds/1000PaperCranes
Summary: When Charlie Burns demonstrates why rules need to be explained, it is up to the humans to rescue the bots.The physics and logic in this episode are just ridiculous.  Things go much differently in a world without impenetrable bubble tents.
Relationships: Kade Burns & Burns Family, Kade Burns & Chase, Kade Burns & Heatwave
Series: Reality Works [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1965970
Comments: 3
Kudos: 35





	Analog Solutions

“Kade,” Chase began in that particular tone. The tone that meant he was going to lecture someone about the rules regardless of command structure. “It is against regulations to render yourself unreachable when you are in command of the emergency team.”

Catching a growl, Kade reminded himself that Chase was literal. Very literal. “I didn’t.” He swallowed again but couldn’t force the sourness from his voice. “Just because you couldn’t activate the dispatch tones from where you were and didn’t think to dial me, doesn’t make me unreachable.”

Kade imagined the look Dani and Graham would be sharing right then. Emergencies were never a good time to say I told you so, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t celebrate by flooring it. The old truck wasn’t as fast as Chase, but it was fast enough.

“Dispatch tones?” Graham asked because he was the brave one.

“That little button that says _PAGE_. It sends a signal that opens whichever com-lines are keyed to it. That’s how the pagers worked; we just don’t use them anymore.” Kade actually missed the startling gleep-click-click-click of his Monitaur activating. It gave him time to switch gears. And clap his hand over the speaker so he could understand the dispatch. Not that any of that mattered with the high-tech comms. “Are you telling me you used a pager without knowing how it worked?”

“I–I…” Graham stuttered.

“There!” Kade stomped on the break and the old fire engine squealed to a stop. Part of the fence into the dead zone had been caved in. Even odds whether it was Boulder or Heatwave that did it. Beyond that was a heap of disable bots.

Bolting from the vehicle, Kade forced himself to walk. He heard Chase transform.

“They’re frozen on top of Old Parker!” Graham informed them from behind Dani.

“Is elderly Mister Parker a threat?” Chase asked.

Kade’s insides did a funny dance between mirth and distress while Graham explained.

“ _He’s_ a superhot geyser, due to blow in—” checking the tablet— “three minutes!”

“We have to tow the bots out of there, _now_.” No kidding, Dani.

Chase transformed. Kade squinted at the winch on the back of the patrol car. A regular sedan would never handle that kind of work, but Chase probably knew his own limits.

“Chase,” Graham protested, “You _can’t_ drive into the magnetic zone. You’ll be frozen, too.”

No duh. Also, damn. “So, what do we do? No way a towline’s long enough to reach the bots from here.”

Chase popped his trunk. “May I suggest we augment my towline with rope?” 

Chase was Kade’s favorite.

“I–Is it strong enough?” Dani asked. Kade let Chase field the question. Rope was great for towing.

“It will be, once I consult the Lad Pioneers manual to find the most durable knot.”

Forget that. Kade could tie knots in his sleep. “A Becket with a safety. Let’s go.”

Everyone stared at him.

“We tie knots for fun during fire attack school. It’s my fidget. Now, _transform_.” Chase followed the order immediately, which was plenty good, even if Dani and Graham just continued to stare at him. In a few deft twists, Kade had the lines lashed together. He grabbed the second rope from Dani’s slack hands. Kade sprinted towards the endangered vehicles, his siblings finally coming to their senses and following closely behind.

“Okay, whose tailpipe is steaming?” Heatwave grumped.

“Nobody’s! You’re parked on a geyser that’s about to erupt!” Dani explained. She and Graham peeled off towards the stack of Boulder and Blades.

“We need to tow you out, _now!_ ” Kade skidded around Heatwave. Flat tire. He ducked down to check the severity of the damage as the bot told him as much, the words skimming by, heard but unimportant. That wheel would not turn easy: the others would have to go first.

Graham had finished tying the line on to Boulder when Kade came around the front of the firetruck. Dani nodded confidently and Kade trusted his brother. 

“Pull, Chase!” Kade ordered. The policebot floored it, skidding, then slowly dragging his teammates towards the exit. Kade didn’t stand around to watch; if the line were going to snap, it would have done it already. “As soon as they’re clear, get me that line back.”

Thankfully, Heatwave, like all firetrucks, had handy tow-points.

Unfortunately, the steam from Old Parker was _hot_. “Ow.” Kade threaded the rope through, pulling his hands back to shake off the heat. “Ouch.” He hissed through his teeth, actually tying the knot was going to hurt. Kade could see his hands blistering in the steam, slicking the rope as the blisters burst. “Slag it.”

Knot tied, Kade turned. Graham was struggling to untie the knot pulled tight by tons of drag. No time for that.

Not time for much.

Hastily stumbling to his feet, Kade ran for the old truck. Slamming into the generator compartment, Kade grabbed the yellow gas can and sprinted back to Heatwave. A quirk of the scanning process was the _exact_ replication and integration of the source vehicle’s design. Useless, unless you suddenly needed to pour diesel into a bot’s tank.

Heatwave retched. “What _is_ that! What are you _doing!”_ Kade jumped into the cab. “What are you doing, you IDIOT? Get out of here!”

Kade yanked the dog tags from his neck. He jammed the key he kept there into Heatwave’s ignition, cranking the engine. “Internal combustion isn’t tech.” The engine sputtered to life. “It’s _fire._ ” Hastily rolling down the window, he revved the motor, making sure the engine wouldn’t seize.

Then Kade slammed the firetruck into reverse.

Heatwave screamed as they hurtled backwards.

“Quit moving your mirrors!” Kade grabbed the side mirror, holding it in an uncompromising grip. Behind them, Dani and Graham dove behind the stacked bots. Cutting the wheel hard, Kade sailed around the fence, narrowly missing a rotor. Standing on the break with both boots brought Heatwave sliding to a stop inches from a thick maple.

“ _Hnnng_.” Kade slumped over the steering wheel as Old Parker erupted. He spent the next minute trying to remember how to breathe. 

Until he found himself unceremoniously dumped on the ground.

 _Hey!_ But Kade just stared dumbly up at Heatwave. The bot seemed fine, except for the dents Kade had put in his mirror.

His hands stung. Kade looked down. His hands were blistered, peeling, red, watery, and raw. The left was dripping blood from a deep gash across his palm. Huh. He must have broken Heatwave’s mirror. Well, better that than a boiling bath. Not to mention the steam during an eruption was stupid hot. Even just being close to the pre-eruption stuff had turned his arms a ridiculous, angry shade of pink. Probably his face, too.

“Not that I’m ungrateful,” Heatwave sounded _annoyed_ , “but what in Primus’s core made you think that would _work?_ ”

“Rescue Bot rule number one:” Chase interrupted, scooping Kade off the ground, “Help when needed.” He turned sharply, giving every impression of stomping away from his teammates despite his light, careful footsteps.

“You and Heatwave fighting?” Kade asked cautiously.

“For now.” Chase stared straight ahead. “If he had followed your father’s orders, he would never have been in that situation and you would not now be hurt.”

Kade sighed, “Yeah.” He held his arms out wide, hoping the slight breeze from travel-by-Chase would cool his stinging skin. What was left of it. It was a beautiful night. Kade tried to enjoy it, concentrating on the smell of the air and the exact shade of blue of the dark sky and the connect-the-dots pictures found in the stars. 

He was never very good at force-focusing.

“To be fair,” because Heatwave couldn’t hear them anyway, “If Dad had explained his orders, he wouldn’t have been disobeyed.” Kade might not be smart, but he did not follow blindly. “There was plenty of time to explain. And he should have.”

Chase slowed to a more comfortable walk. “I suppose you are correct. How did you know he neglected to provide clear rationale?”

“Experience.” Kade peeled loose flaps of skin from between his fingers; they would have to be debrided anyway. “Experience also says that I need a hospital.” Kade turned his hand over, scrutinizing the clotted blood and blisters. “And probably a specialist, but Doc McSwain will sort that.”

“To the hospital?”

“To the hospital, policebot!” Kade crowed in his pompous, fake-orders voice. A chukering noise came out of Chase that Kade was pretty sure was the Cybertronian equivalent of a giggle. Too bad Heatwave never got his jokes. Just figures that _Chase_ would.

**Author's Note:**

> Also, the moral of the story was not "Following the rules is good for you" like the writers intended, it was "Rules must make sense in order to be followed, so you darn well better explain them." I work with kids, this is gospel.


End file.
